Where does the coach in you begin and end? How ‘intimate’ do you get with your pupils? How much of yourself do you share?
Ever seen ‘Good Will Hunting’? If you have, then you’ll remember the plot of discovery between the two main characters focused on peeling away the layers of our ‘hero’ Will as his therapist Sean Maguire attempts to ‘rehabilitate’ him.
For our therapist to have a chance at gaining trust, he needs to open up about himself and his own life. It is only when these boundaries are removed that the characters allow themselves to be vulnerable with one another…allowing the learning and change to take place and the story emerge.
Hopefully, you won’t be assigned such a difficult case, but you will discover as you work with people closely: in order to establish trust, you may need to show some vulnerability yourself.
There is of course a line one doesn’t want to cross as your personal self doesn’t need to be an open book. In the course of establishing a ‘rapport’ with your team, you will have to establish boundaries, both personally and professionally, in order to maintain focus on the work or goals at hand.
Without establishing these boundaries. along with each team member’s expectations, the relationship will suffer. Your team will want to know exactly how they can be successful in their role to more easily evaluate when and how they may fall short or become a champion. It is only then that the two parties can effectively approach feedback or coaching in a particular area and establish a long term, positive relationship.
Sure, you may want to have an open door policy or want to know if one of your team members is experiencing a stressful personal situation. But, do you want to know every detail in an ongoing fashion? Not in your capacity. You’re a coach, not a therapist. That’s not to say you shouldn’t show sensitivity, but your responsibility is to not let it affect other members of the team and to help he or she get more appropriate assistance.
We are all human and it may be difficult at times to separate your role as a manager vs. a person who can empathize. The key is to remain as consistent with your boundaries and expectations as you can, as well as embracing a coach, peer or mentor yourself that does not have direct involvement with your team or organization.
Paula Morand is a dedicated wife, mother and lover of life. She is the Founder and CEO of JumpStart 720, an award winning leadership coaching company that is committed to powering life by engaging individuals, companies and communities to more intentional living. For more information: www.jumpstart720.com