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Why It’s So Hard to Let Go of Bad Things

  |   leadership, motivation, vision   |   1 Comment


We are often our own worst enemy when it comes to holding onto things that really need to go. Not only that, too often we use our past hurts, disappointments, judgments, and regrets as excuses for not living our ideal life.

ur long-held ideas and behaviour patterns are like comfort food for our brains.
They give us security.


Letting go of your fixed ideas about the way things are and how you are supposed to live your life is difficult and requires bold courage.  By the time you reached your late teens, you likely had a picture in your mind of what a fulfilled life looked like for you.That picture became the driving force for making decisions in your adult years and formed the foundation of your hopes. It likely included ideas about when you would get married, have a family, travel, and what your career would be.

All of these dreams started to anchor an expectation of what your ideal life would look like.
But quite often, our dreams don’t go as we planned. Everyone wants to live their dreams, but few rarely manage to do it.
That’s why the art of letting go is so important.  At some point in your life, you have to take control of the things that make sense and release the rest. You need to shirk off your fear of the future and any shame from your past.

Taking control of the day you are in is all that matters.  To be successful, you need to be
committed to your new journey, focused on it, and intentional about what you want to happen from here on.  Taking this positive view of the present and the future helps you to move forward. Letting go and making that shift in your thinking can have a huge impact on you and create lasting change in your life.


You will discover when you let go of certain dreams that didn’t work out, that there is something cathartic about choosing wisdom over failure. Granted, there are lessons to be learned from past experiences. But there is no honor or value in being bound by the decisions and actions you have already experienced and cannot change. What’s done is
done and all you can do is live right now.


Grant yourself permission to release the things that are holding your back and open
the door to new possibilities.  I have always been fascinated with Kintsugi, the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery. In this process, they mend broken objects by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe the breakage and repair process is part of the rich history of an object.


What I find intriguing about this tradition is that there is no attempt to hide the damage. It is literally highlighted and the object becomes more priceless than it was in its original perfect condition.  I believe our lives need to be honored in the same fashion. It is through our willingness to illuminate our flaws, failures and imperfections that
confidence and acceptance returns.


Every one of us can benefit from the process of letting go. It allows us to build a new discipline of choosing wisdom over fear. When you decide to let go, the process starts by digging deep and recognizing how and why you got to the place where you are. You have to take ownership of the role you played in getting to that place.


Then you need to let go of those things that happened that you continue to blame yourself for, such as decisions, failures, and missed opportunities.  It takes a lot of courage to get real with yourself but when you are willing to do it, growth happens. Through this growth, you have an opportunity to re-evaluate what you really want in life, and also what you don’t want.


I did that in my own life, and I realized that learning to let go gave me new freedom and confidence. In the process, my resiliency was born and I found renewed life where my creativity and innovation flourished.


paulamorandPaula Morand, CSP is a leadership building, revenue boosting, strategy expanding keynote speaker, author and visionary. This dreaming big and being bold leadership expert and brand strategist brings her vibrant energy, humor and wisdom to ignite individuals, organizations and communities to lead change, growth and bold impact. 23 years, 25,000 clients, 19 countries, 11 books, former radio personality, 10x award winning entrepreneur and humorous emcee.

To check out Paula’s newest book, “Bold Courage: How Owning Your Awesome Changes Everything” go to Amazon http://ow.ly/i8yW307ix67

To book Paula to speak email bookings@paulamorand.com or call toll-free 1-888-502-6317.

  • Esther Barker | Jan 17, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    I’ve been “stuck” for a while now and really needed to hear that, thank you!

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